Dearly Beloved

Another relationship ends in disaster
Why can I not seem to find what I’m after?
For two to be one, ’till death do us part
To love and to hold, with all of our hearts

The concept is simple, the idea is trite
So why should it be such a chore to get right?
I accept your flaws, and you accept mine
Supporting each other through good and bad times

I know in the past I have stumbled; I fell
And there’s no one to blame for these things but myself
But your foibles and fumbles I always forgave
Was it too much to ask for the patience to wait?

I was floundering, sinking, tossed ’round by the waves
And I knew that your hand would be waiting to save
So I grasped for the grip guaranteed you’d let down
But I found you’d sailed off, leaving me here to drown

So I guess that it’s best at least you will survive
No dead weight to drag down what is left of your life
As for me, I’ll keep seeking the fabulous wealth
Of a mate that will stay in my sickness and health

Pink Serpent

There’s a hole in my heart the size of your love
Try to keep it below but it’s rising above
And it’s spreading and snaking its way through enough
That I’m sitting here saying this stuff is too much

And I’m wishing and praying that you’d disappear
Wanna be left alone, but I look, you’re still here
And the unknown you know, is my life’s biggest fear
You have moved on along but I’m still facing years

I am sorry for all of the time I was stuck
For the moments I used you, that you were my crutch
That the hardest I gave was not given enough
That my most was your least, and was treated as such

And the hope that I clutch just keeps slipping away
And I fight and I fight it, to keep it at bay
But my solid foundation is starting to sway
Order turned into chaos, from sane to dismay

Though I try to deny the display on my face
There’s no masking reaction to flavor I taste
What we had quickly over, disposed of with haste
Left me hating the ways that my faith was a waste

In this place I’ve been taken, I’m all on my own
Lost in so large a world with no place to call home
You can reach, but at this point, I’ll just be alone
For protection I’m letting this heart turn to stone

Aphasic Lamentation

Make this place amazing
And I’ll stay for many days
But take away this great escape
And I may fade into the gray
Of such despair that there
Are hardly terms I find that could compare
To match the horror of this beauty
That I stare at everywhere
I find my life inside has died
And I’m denied the right to scribe
Or to assign this slice of life
A type of bright insightful lines
But though I stew and make a fuss
The only truth is, life is tough
Oh, what to do? Futile to bluff
I guess this proves my flame’s been snuffed

TinMan

You’re insane to be happy
So I must bring you down
Your smile, it attacks me
So with me you must frown
Your success is a threat
To the chains that I’m bound
I cannot fly with you
So we’ll both hit the ground

If I cannot be
Then none of us will
If I can’t believe
Then your faith I shall kill
If I can’t receive
Don’t expect to be filled
If my way’s not easy
Then yours must be uphill

If I cannot have it
Then you’ll possess lack
I did it the hard way
So I’ll cut you no slack
Whatever I give you
You’ve got to give back
‘Cause if you aren’t of value
I don’t owe you jack

This world’s about me
And all in it is mine
And you might have problems
But I pay them no mind
‘Cause I’m helping myself
So I don’t have the time
To hear anyone else
Give a yelp or a whine

For “I” am the center
And with “me” you’re stuck
And try as you might
I will not give “you” up
“We” are in this together
So to “us,” best of luck
If within lies our treasure
Moth and rust doth corrupt

Transmuted

I see with different eyes
I hear with other ears
Transparent now the lies
The truth so very clear

The grip that had a hold
Has slipped and been released
The dark that was so cold
Has markedly decreased

In warmth I have been freed
The shadow’s been replaced
The Light is what I need
In it my strength is based

I face the day ahead
With faith I’ll make it through
Wherever I am led
My heart will follow Truth

Inverted Indifference

Your memory’s attached to all that I know
Your essence is with me wherever I go
The pain that I feel’s getting hard not to show
I want it to end but it’s fading so slow

And I know that your love I don’t even deserve
And that fact seems to touch such a sensitive nerve
Though I wish we could try again, making “us” work
I am fearful of causing you any more hurt

And I hope that you know, if for only your sake
That I’m paying quite deeply for all my mistakes
If it seems like I’m happy, please know that it’s fake
It’s my way of erasing the pain that I make

‘Cause now I’m alone and I’ve made quite a mess
My endurance has surely been put to the test
And what you are thinking I can’t even guess
But I hope that you’re peaceful, and wish you the best

The Next White Rapper

I’m gonna be the next white rapper
Not a cracker, cracked and brittle
I don’t wanna be an M&M
I wanna be a Skittle
And let you sip a little bit of this here hasty brainy flow
And like LSD, be havin you tastin the rainbow
Cause I’m a poet, not just a mf’in rapper
A reality show, not some average half assed actor
A multiple, there’s no way I’m a Fear Factor
Just a human plough, I got no need for John Deere tractors
I’m not a stalker, I’m a body tracker like GPS
Tracin your calls with the government like Sprint PCS
Cuz things are fucked up in the world and they’re completely messed
But I’ma tidy things up, life’s not gonna leave me stressed
Cause I’m at my best, and I’m blessed more and more each day
Whatever I wrest, won’t give less than four times that away
And this I pray, you find contented peace in your life
Cause every day was invented as release for your strife

Helping Hand

If you are here and reading this
I probably understand
Why you are desperate, searching
For a single helping hand

Amid these middle fingers
That this world thrusts right at you
You’re seeking some relief
Some kind of peace to guide you through

I come to you and write this
In hopes that when you stretch
Your arms into the crowd
My hand’s the one you catch

I’m here if you should need me
Yes, for you, reading this now
I’ll help in any way I can
If you’ll just tell me how

Abcessed Insanity

By God we’re molested
It’s called “being tested”
For His Holy Sake
We are beaten and raped

Just so He’s entertained
We get suffering, pain
And then we take the blame
Which is fucking insane!

We’ve no choice how it goes
In a life we’ve not chose
In a body we’re stuck
And if we give it up

Then our time we’ll be spending
In hell never-ending
A catch-22
And it’s Him versus you

If He says our will’s free
Then what of destiny?
If we control our hands
Then why’s He got a plan?

If we follow His voice
Then we don’t have a choice
We’re not given a say
In what happens each day

Or in being at all
Seems we’re made just to fall
Seems we’re part of His fun
And I wish He’d be done

With the me that I know
Cause I’m ready to go
Give me wings so I’ll fly
And I’ll kiss life goodbye

Puppet Master

My body is my puppet
And my mind the puppet master
It pulls the strings that bring the things
My mind thinks it is after
It craves the way (to your dismay)
That life’s a big disaster
But in the end it’s just pretend
And only meant for laughter!

RainCloud

I’m a stain on your rainbow halo
Raining on your vain parade, I stay low
I’m a raincloud, as you may know
Just ask the plains I rain on, they grow
Cause they know you can’t have storms without lightning
So when I might get bright do not be frightened
By my might because I don’t like fighting

I prefer writing

And righting wrongs
And writing songs
All about rainbows
And storm clouds dressed in plain clothes

Cause I’m secretly writing about me…

Survival

The birds are laughing at me again…

It must be nature’s way of informing me that I wasn’t formed fit for survival
That though I break the cycle
My genes are not vital
And won’t recycle into another version of myself with a different title

So I remain idle,
Hiding behind the guile of my fauxest smile
Hoping this survival will do for a while

Life Trap

Rip the head off, shove it through
All the eyes can see is you
All they seem to do is stare
But body doesn’t seem to care

There’s lightning drops through trees of rain
I wish that God would cease this pain
But harder that I seem to pray
The more it will not go away

So kill me now before I die
And tear out eyes that only cry
For breaks are good for none involved
Two wrong’s not right, no problem solved

Not Dead, Stronger

I feel as if the floor below
Is caving in beneath me
That I will fall so deep I know
That no one else can reach me
It seems the things I think are true
Unfailingly deceive me
And all the good I try to do
Just fades away completely

Despite my frantic efforts
I never seem to set it
The way that it should be
So I don’t have to edit
The things I wish I’d done
I always just regret it
But it will bother me
Just as I choose to let it

There are those there that say
There’s no use ever griping
Just hush and wait it out
Your fruit yet still is riping
But what say I to tears
It seems I’m always wiping
When my affairs do fail
And don’t appease my liking?

I hate this pressing grief
No joy to be alive
When all the good in life
From me worries deprive
But after all is done
I find I do derive
From force that trouble brings
The skills yet still to thrive

Lover You

Her lips are an elixir
I sip as I kiss her
It’s sick how I’ve missed her
The distance betwixt her
And I was quite trying
There’s no use denying
Though once I was crying
My tears now are drying
My pain’s been erased
And instead been replaced
With your beautiful face
And the sweetest embrace
Answering all I’ve prayed
This time failing to fade
Lover, don’t be afraid
To love you, I was made